


Some Days You're the Only Thing I Know

by archersand



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Abduction, Ashton's not in this, But he never did, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Red-Haired Michael Clifford, Sorry! I thought he would appear!, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:01:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archersand/pseuds/archersand
Summary: When they were 8 years old, Calum was taken from the skate park, leaving Michael behind. It's been 8 years and Michael's given up any thought that he'll see Calum again. Then, late one night, the phone rings and the person on the other end says it's Calum calling.Who the fuck is this?” Michael retreated into his room. His breath was catching for a reason he didn’t understand.“I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to say anything. I was just going to.” The voice stopped abruptly like even he didn’t know what he meant.“Is this a prank call? Cause you’re doing a shitty job. Who is this? Is it Luke?”“Mike. It’s. It’s me. It’s.” He stopped again.The tightening in his chest ratcheted up sharply. “Who. Is. This? Or I’m hanging up.”“Mikey, it’s Calum.”
Comments: 28
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've been feeling a little vaguely...hmmm, uncreative? During this pandemic so I wrote this story to motivate myself. I've never posted anything like this before and it's already soooo long so. I hope it's alright! It get's a little violent right at the end but I'll put a little summery for that chapter when it comes if that's going to be something tough for you. 
> 
> Also, I wanted this story to be set when they were young but Michael's in red hair phase during it. Just. Accept it. I know it makes no sense. 
> 
> Hope someone out there enjoys it! Much love!

There was a man, near the tree line of the park. Calum noticed him first, jogged Micheal’s elbow and nodding that direction. The man was holding a leash in his hand, calling out, whistling occasionally. “Rocky. Come here boy.” and then elongating the vowel mournfully. “Rooooocky.”

They were only 8 years old. They weren’t even supposed to be at the park this close to dark. Calum had called using their old system (call, let it ring once, hang up, call again 5 seconds later. His mother had sighed in faux exacerbation “that’ll be Calum” and his father had muttered as Michael left the table, “ah to be young and have a best friend.”) and they’d snuck out on their skateboards. They were trying to learn how to do a kickflip. 

The two boys wondered closer. It was Michael who asked, “Hey mister, did you lose your dog?”

The man looked anxious, he tugged at a loose strand of hair coming out from under his hat. “Yeah. He’s called Rocky. A golden retriever. He broke through the fence in my backyard. I’ve been looking and looking…” 

“We can help,” Calum said. 

They followed the path into the wooded part of the park. Calum started off down a fork while Micheal and the man stayed on the sidewalk by the street. Ahead, and then coming alongside them, was a van with the door left slid open. Micheal was going to ask if it was the man’s van when suddenly he felt the man behind him, grabbing onto his wrists hauling him in that direction. 

Micheal started yelling immediately, calling for help, and then, calling for Calum. 

Calum appeared as the van’s door was right in front of Micheal. He was running at top speed and he crashed into the man, knocking all three of them to the ground. Michael sprawled out, rolling away from the man. But now the man was grabbing at Calum, his knees on either side of his chest. Calum met Michael’s eyes, his own frantic. 

“Run! Michael run! Run!”

Michael heaved himself up and stumbled into a sprint. He was gasping before he even got back to the skate park, empty, nothing but his and Calums' skateboards abandoned by the benches. 

“Help!” he called. “Somebody!” 

But there was nobody in the street or sitting outside any of the houses he passed. Minutes were piling up and up and Michael’s lungs burned too much to yell anymore. But he couldn’t stop running. He had to get help. For Calum. His pounding feet took on that rhythm. Calum. Calum. Calum. 

By the time he made it home, and the police were called, the van was long, long gone. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not play a drinking game for every time someone says I'm sorry in this story. You will not make it through chapter 2.

8 years later 

Michael was jerked out of the game he was playing by the hall phone ringing. He glanced over at the clock. 2:30 am. Someone had been calling the house every once and while in the middle of the night for the last couple weeks. Usually he heard his mom shuffle into the hall to answer the phone. He decided it was his turn. He went to pick up the old cordless phone. 

“Hello?” 

Silence. He waited a beat. 

“Hello hello? Anyone there?” 

More silence. 

“Listen, you’ve got to stop calling...My parents are trying to sleep. Ever think of that?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” the voice was so quiet. It came through the phone like a shudder, “I shouldn’t’ve-”

“Who the fuck is this?” Michael retreated into his room. His breath was catching for a reason he didn’t understand. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything. I was just going to.” The voice stopped abruptly like even he didn’t know what he meant. 

“Is this a prank call? Cause you’re doing a shitty job. Who is this? Is it Luke?” 

“Mike. It’s. It’s me. It’s.” He stopped again. 

The tightening in his chest ratcheted up sharply. “Who. Is. This? Or I’m hanging up.”

“Mikey, it’s Calum.” 

“No. No way.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Is this part of the joke? Because that’s really really fucked up, you asshole.” 

“It’s me, I swear.”

“Ok, then tell me something only Calum would know.”

“Like what?”

“Like,” Michael shuffled through memories of him and Calum that he’d been trying not to think about for the past several years. For some reason, he settled on, “where did we find my dad’s porn?” 

The voice snorted into the phone. “Man, we looked for that for ages. It was...where? Somewhere in the garage? In a filing cabinet? With like old receipts and stuff?” 

“Yeah?” Michael forced out the word.

“And it wasn’t even, like, good porn, remember?” the voice sounded like he’d sunk into the memory, “it was like, really really old.” 

“Calum?” Michael whispered. 

“Yeah. It’s me.” 

“Oh my God.” His legs gave out from under him, collapsing him back onto his bed. He dug the fingers of one hand into his hair, pulling sharply, trying to ground himself into the moment. “Where are you? I’ll call the police. We’ll come get you.”

“No! I can’t. I’m sorry, Mikey. I wish.” Calum’s voice broke. He was obviously trying so hard to be quiet. His voice barely rose above a whisper. “I have to go. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no,no,” Michael’s throat closed. “You can’t go. You can’t call and then disappear again. Calum please, please don’t.” He was choking on tears, they were rattling out of him.

“Oh, Mikey, Mikey please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean. Look I’ll call again, ok? I have to go now but I’ll call again.”

“Promise?” Michael managed. 

“I swear. As soon as I can, ok? I’ll call. I promise.” 

“Wait!-” But the dial tone in his ear sounded like the beginning of a funeral march, like the ending note of a heart monitor spooling out until it’s unplugged. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, if there's someone out there thinking they wish there was something in the tags that I didn't put up there, please let me know! I'm still figuring this whole thing out. 
> 
> Also, I don't really know enough about Australian slang or culture or geography to pretend so this story sort of takes place everywhere and nowhere, if that's something you were wondering about!

“But honey, we don’t know for sure that it was Calum.” Michael’s mom said for maybe the third or fourth time. 

“God, mom, I’m telling you. It was. It was definitely Calum.” Michael had gone to wake his parents as soon as he was able to make his body work. He hadn’t slept at all. His mind felt like it was floating several feet above his body, connected by only a few thin strings. He looked up at the detective who’d come to their house early that morning. They were all sitting around the kitchen table with cups of coffee like this was normal. “You believe me, right?” 

The detective was the same one who’d originally worked the case. He was older now, more gray hairs than before. He spoke with the same gruff transparency that their family had so appreciated for all these years. 

“I think what’s important here is that we act in the way we would if we knew without any doubt that the call came from Calum while at the same time acknowledging that there’s a possibility that it wasn’t.” 

“You don’t think it was?” Michael mom asked. 

“There’s a certain kind of person who likes to see themselves involved in police drama. They sometimes manufacture a situation so they can be a part of a case. There’s a chance that’s what happening here. But we’re going to set up a system connected to your phone that will do 2 things: first, it will track incoming calls as close as it can back to the source, and second it will record the conversation so we can analyze it later.” 

The first thing the detective had had Michael do was write down, as near to word for word as he could, his conversation from the night before. Seeing it there, not even half a page written out, it did seem impossible that Calum had actually called the night before. It was more like a dream. 

“You’ll just push this button as soon as you know it’s the same caller from last night,” the detective continued and showed him what to push on the machine. “And that’s it.”

“You’re not going to have someone here to take care of this?” His mother asked.

Detective Perry shook his head regretfully. “We just don’t have the resources to post someone here on standby for days at a time. As soon as the call comes through, we’ll rush it through processing, get all the information we can.”

“Did you tell Calum’s mom?” Michael thought to ask. 

The Hoods had moved away 3 years ago when Calum’s sister got into a really good music school and they wanted to all be closer. To be honest it was a relief to Michael not to run into Calum’s mom at the store or walking downtown. She’d never say, but he always got the sense she knew he was squandering the life that Calum had sacrificed to give him. If Calum had been the one to get away, Michael knew he’d have done great things by now. Calum would’ve been the star of sports teams, the one everyone was friends with, beloved by teachers and parents and peers. 

Michael could never be what Calum would have been, so why even try? Maybe that was the reason for the hair dye and tattoo and piercings. Maybe that was why he barely tried in school and not at all to make friends. 

“I’m planning on getting in contact with the Hoods after I leave here. In the meantime, Michael you should try and keep as normal a schedule as you can.”

That jolted Michael right out his imaginings of how the Hoods would take this new development. “Hold on. You're kidding me. You expect me to, like, go to school?” 

“If it is one of your classmates trying to get into the case, the best thing you could do is go to school. They’ll see you and want to make contact again. If it is somebody like that, we can trace the call and arrest them for everything I can think of. Starting with interfering with an open investigation.”

“Because that’s what you think that was last night?” 

“I think there’s a good chance.”

“It’s a good idea, Michael.” his mom added in, “you don’t know when they’ll call again. You can’t just sit around waiting by the phone every day.” 

“I can’t go to school today.” Michael rubbed his exhausted eyes. “I won’t make it through the day.”

“Not today then, love,” his mother reached to squeeze his hand over the table, “but tomorrow lets get you back to school.”

That was how the next day Michael found himself sitting through his classes as if his life hadn’t just been upended all over again. He spent every day with the strings holding his brain to his body seeming to grow longer and longer. He barely slept, maybe an hour or two in jerking cycles, blinking awake to check the phone, now in his bedroom, was still working, the machine still running. 

Someone must’ve told the teachers what was going on because they pointedly didn’t call on him in class or ask him why he wasn’t turning in any assignments. Usually a teacher here and there would make an effort to engage him but now he felt a thousand miles away. A few days into this hellish slog through class, Luke turned abruptly around in his seat. 

“We might as well be partners.”

Michael blinked into focus. He hadn’t even realized they’d been assigned something. “What the fuck? Why?” 

Michael had spent some very entertaining hours seeing how long he could glare at Luke Hemmings. He was way too bubbly, too chirpy and bright. It made Michael want to take him down, show him what the world looked like when you weren’t floating around on your toes. God, he hated that kid, wearing Good Charlotte shirts with the sleeves cut off like there was anything punk about his life.

“You look like you haven’t slept in like, a week.” 

Accurate, but still, “So what?”

“I’m done anyways,” Luke slid the completed worksheet onto Michael’s desk, “you can just copy mine.” 

“Again, why?”

Luke was quiet for a second. “You haven’t glared at me all week. I thought maybe you were too tired to, like, think about hating me. So maybe this is my chance to show you that I’m really sort of an ok guy maybe sometimes.” 

“What, you want to be friends?” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

Anger pulled his brain in close for the first time all day. “I don’t need friends.”

“Maybe I do.” Luke was so open, every part of his face showing every single one of his emotions. 

The bell, thankfully, started ringing. 

“That is not my fucking problem.” Michael grabbed his books off the desk and left without another word. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will there be a new chapter everyday?  
> Yes.  
> Probably.  
> Maybe.

So of course it was that night the phone rang. Michael sat up in a panic, reaching for the phone but it didn’t ring again. For 5 seconds there was silence and Michael felt his breath kicking up a notch as, after the 5th second, it rang again. He snatched it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Michael?” the same soft, soft voice. Michael scrambled to press the record button. 

“Yeah.”

“Should I have called? Were you sleeping?” 

Michael looked over at the clock, 3:40. “No, it’s ok. I wasn’t asleep. I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

“Oh.”

Michael couldn’t help it, even though he knew it was probably a bad idea. He had to ask. “Is this really Calum? This isn’t, like, someone pretending?”

“It’s really me. Do you really think it’s just some sicko wanting to trick you? Have people done that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Tell me something.” Michael knew he sounded far too plaintive. “Tell me about something from when we were kids.”

“Ok, yeah, how ‘bout that time, God we were what 7? And we squeezed out half your mom’s new tube of toothpaste and filled it up with elmers glue. Remember that?”

He had completely forgotten. “Oh my God. She used it the first time and we thought she’d know it was us but she thought the company made a mistake making it or something.”

“She called them all mad, threatening to sue.”

“We were around the corner listening, losing our shit.”

“They sent her, what? Like a case of new toothpaste?” 

“Yeah!” Michael was laughing, sitting on his bed, laughing so hard. “She should’ve thanked us. Kept us in toothpaste for months, that did.”

“Did she ever find out? That we did that?”

“No. No one ever knew. I never told anyone. I never.” The reality of the situation came crashing back in. “Oh my God. Calum.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s me.”

“You’re sorry? You shouldn’t be sorry. If anyone should be sorry.” He recognized his own descent towards hysteria and tried desperately, futilely, to pull up. “It’s me who’s sorry. Calum. Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

“What? Mikey, it’s ok. Take a breath for me, don’t go crazy on me here. Why would you be sorry?”

“I left you.” Michael stammered out, hitching through sobs he couldn’t stop. “I ran. I-I-I left you all alone.”

“You stop that, right now.” Even whispering there was something authoritative in Calum’s voice. “That was not your fault. I told you to run remember? I knew you would try and get help.”

“But-”

“No.” He interrupted sharply. “I have been so Goddamn grateful, knowing you were out there somewhere. I used to imagine you doing normal things when things here were. When I was. That got me through hard times, thinking of you like perfecting that kick flip. Learning to play guitar like we said. Meeting all the new people in secondary school. You can’t be sorry for what made things better for me, ok?”

“Ok.” Michael whispered. 

“Now, you can’t get mad, ok? But I have to go.” 

“I’m not mad. I wasn’t mad before. I just-I’ve missed you so much, Calum.”

“I’ve missed you too. I’ll call again, ok? I don’t know when. It might be awhile. But as soon as I can, I’ll call.”

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”

The line went dead again. Calum, apparently, didn’t say goodbyes. Michael reached a shaking hand over and pressed the button to end the recording. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the words of DJ Khalid, another one.  
> (I stole this joke from somebody but I can't remember who. Anyone know???)

They met the next day at the police station to hear back on the analysis. Michael and his parents, Detective Perry and Joy, Calum’s mom. When she saw him, Joy teared up immediately, coming around the table. 

“Hey, Mrs. Hood.” Michael said awkwardly. And then, to his surprise, she pulled him in for a hug. He was still coming to terms with his new height, still not used to the way people disappeared into his arms. He tensed. 

“Oh, Michael.” She said, finally pulling away. “I had no idea you blame yourself for leaving Calum. All this time…” she choked up, “I’m so sorry you felt that way.”

So she’d heard the recording then. Michael ran a nervous hand through his hair. “It’s ok. I mean, it’s not, but.”

“How about we all sit down,” Detective Perry said, gestured to the table. He pulled out a file. He began once they were all situated. “So the call was placed from a cell phone that was reported stolen yesterday.”

“Who’s phone?” Joy jumped in.

“A tourist. In town for the day. We’re still looking into it but it seems more likely that Calum got his hands on the stolen phone and used it to place the call.”

“So that was definitely Calum, right?” Michael broke in. “You all believe me now?”

“There’s every reason to believe that was Calum on the phone. I think we should move forward with the theory that Calum is reaching out to you, Michael, the best he can.”

Joy made a sound like a sob caught in her throat. “I’m sorry. This is good news. I just. Ok, I’m fine, continue. Can we trace the call to where he made it?”

“Not to a street or a house. We can only trace to the cell tower the call pinged off of. That was enough to tell us it came from this city.” 

“I’m such an idiot,” Michael said bitterly, “I should’ve tried to figure out where he was. We talked about like, fucking toothpaste when I should’ve tried to get something more important.”

Usually his mom would’ve said something about language but she just squeezed his shoulder. “You did such a good job, Michael. I’m so proud of you.” 

“Yes,” the detective nodded along, “what Calum needs is not some police officer reading lines out of a handbook. He wanted his friend and that’s what you were. You were open and honest. He responded to that. You can hear it in the tape.” 

“What’s our next move?” Joy asked. 

“The best thing we can do is keep recording the conversations. Looking for clues to what his situation might be. Build his confidence in Michael so that he’ll agree to maybe talking to the police, coming to us, something like that.”

“But we can all agree I should stay home, right? There’s no way I should keep going to school.”

“Actually,” the Detective started. 

“You’ve got to fucking kidding me.”

“Michael,” his mother admonished, finally acting like herself. 

“Even the calls that came before he started talking all came at night. The chances he’d call during the day are slim to none. You should try to make the rest of your life continue as close to normal as possible.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Michael!” His mom, again.

“It is! I can’t just act during the day like nothing’s up and then stay awake all night waiting for my abducted best friend to call me.”

Perry took this outburst in stride. He’d known Michael a long time after all. “He said it might be awhile until he’s able to call again. The man disconnected his phone. I’d guess it’s not easy for him to get access to a phone. From now until then, Michael, you have to take care of your mental state. I know how it sounds but keeping yourself in a routine as much as you can will help.”

“Fine.” Michael picked at a rip in his jeans, “Ok. Yeah. Whatever.”

“That’s all we have for now. We’ll call you if we get any more information.” Perry led them out of the station. On the sidewalk, Joy grabbed Michael’s arm. 

“Listen, I know this isn’t easy,” she said. “I can’t tell you how much hearing his voice on that recording meant to me.”

“I get it. Trust me, I mean, you know I get it.” 

“I do. I was wondering.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a piece of notepad paper. “Do you think you could give him my phone number? And tell him, whenever he’s ready. I mean he doesn’t have to. He shouldn’t feel like I’m pressuring him. But if he wants to call me.”

Michael took the paper. “I’ll tell him.”

“Thank you,” she smiled so gratefully. It hit Michael hard, that gratitude, because he’d just felt the curling edges of resentment, that she would ask something like this. That she would take Calum away from him like this. He pushed it down hard. 

“Of course. Are you, I mean, do you plan on staying around for awhile?” 

“Yes,” she answered. “I’m staying with relatives for as long as this takes.” She paused. “Calum’s dad is staying with Mali but he’ll come the minute I call and say there’s something he should be here for. They both will.”

There wasn’t much more to say. Michael and his mom headed off towards their car and Joy went the opposite direction. They looked back at each other to wave, a strange new bond forming between them, the left behind, the waiting. 

Michael was sleeping through lunch. It’d been a week since the last call. He was sleepwalking through life. Days were murky at best. He’d eaten a few bites of food and then put his head down on the table, unapologetically closing his eyes. A loud noise startled him awake, a kid at a nearby table dropping something that clattered to the floor. Michael propped his chin up on his hand, contemplated trying another bite of lunch. 

“Hey,” the voice made him look up. It was Luke Hemming, wearing that fucking Good Charlette shirt, looking nervous. “Can I sit here?”

“Whatever man,” Michael was far too tired for this bullshit. 

“Thanks.” Luke arranged his ridiculously long legs under the table. “Look I heard about your friend.”

That got Michael’s attention. Luke apparently had a talent for that. “What did you hear?”

“That, like, he got kidnapped when you guys were little and, like, a week ago he called you.”

So the rumor was out. Michael sighed. It was only a matter of time. “So what? You wanted to get the story? Pass it back to all your other little friends?”

“No!” Luke looked horrified. “That’s not-ok so I came over because.” he heaved a huge sigh, “I wanted to say, like, sorry, I guess. For last week. I didn’t mean to, like, distract you from thinking about your friend.”

“What do you call what you’re doing right now?” There was something amusing about flustered Luke Hemmings. That was maybe part of the appeal of all the glaring, Michael could admit to himself. 

Luke was looking even more horrified, preparing to stand back up. “Oh man, should I go? You’re so right.”

“No, it’s whatever. You can sit.” Michael was thinking suddenly of Calum talking about how he imagined Michael meeting new people at school. What would Calum think if he heard Michael had no friends at all? 

“Thanks,” Luke shot him a happy smile, “Anyway, if there’s anything I do to help…” He trailed off. 

“I can’t think of anything.” Maybe it’d be ok, maybe Luke Hemmings wasn’t the worst person on earth. “Just try not to be too fucking annoying.”

“Ok,” Luke’s eyes were like excited little crescents. He sat quietly for the rest of lunch while Michael put his head back down on the table and tried to go back to sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I did a search to figure out who quoted DJ Khalid and apparently A. it's everyone and B. it's DJ Khaled not Khalid. So. You live and learn.

It was another week before Calum called. Michael had started to think that was it, he’d never call again. So when the phone rang Michael was dozing next to it. He swam up into wakefulness, struggling momentarily to remember even why the phone ringing next to him was so important. One ring. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. 

Another ring. 

Michael snatched it up. 

“Calum.”

“Hey, did I wake you up?” 

“It’s ok. It doesn’t matter.” He looked at the clock. 4:52. The sun would be rising soon. He reached over and pushed the record button before he could forget. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I’m always staying up late playing video games anyway. I have a fucked up sleep schedule.” Just be yourself, Detective Perry had said, open, honest. 

Calum gave a little snort of a laugh, muffled, kept quiet. 

“What?” 

“Sorry, it’s just weird hearing you swear. In my head I’m picturing you as an eight year old.” 

Michael realized he was doing the same thing. In his head, Calum was still small, hair cut short, wearing gym shorts and oversized t-shirts. “You too, I guess.”

“What are you like now? I bet you're really cool. Did you end up dying your hair?”

“Yeah, actually,” Michael ran his fingers through it. He’d been so distracted lately, it was looking messy and washed out. “It’s red right now. But I’ll probably change it soon.”

“See, red hair. I knew it. Cool.”

“What about you?” Michael closed his eyes briefly. “Still rocking the short hair look?”

“Naw, it’s getting so long. It’s so annoying. I hope they cut it soon. Gets all in my eyes all the time. And it’s curly now so it’s, like, impossible to make it look right.” 

“Hey, listen,” Michael couldn’t figure out a smooth transition and what if Calum had to go suddenly? So he just blurted out, “I hope it’s ok I told your mom you called me.”

There was such a silence. Michael squeezed his eyes shut. I’ve ruined it, he thought, I’ve ruined everything. Now he’ll hang up. Now he’ll never call again. 

“Oh,” Calum finally said, “Oh ok. I guess you had to right? That’d be mean not to tell her.”

“Yeah, yeah, exactly.” Michael said quickly. 

“Did she. I mean. Is she alright? What’d she say?” 

“Yeah, she said, no pressure but if you wanted to call her she gave me her number to give you.”

“Oh,” Calum paused again. “I don’t. I don’t think I can. Can you tell her I’m sorry? Or-Christ I don’t know. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” It was cruel, the happiness jumping in Michael’s brain. The way he could maybe keep Calum to himself for a little longer. “She said a bunch of times, he doesn’t have to call, only if he wants to, no pressure.”

“It’s just. I feel like she’d expect me to be some kind of way that I can’t be, you know?”

“Cal,” Michael fought against the selfishness, “she loves you, no matter how you are. She wouldn’t care. She’d take you any way.”

“No, but I mean,” Calum seemed to grapple with his words, “I’m different now in tons of ways. And she’s probably the same most ways. And if she’s not the same then I don’t want to know because I want her to be the same. But you.” he stopped, rallied. “You can be different and that’s ok. And that makes it ok for me to be different.” 

Michael took a moment to process that. 

“Yeah, that makes sense. It’s good that I can be different because I am really different.”

“I bet. With the red hair. What else?”

“Ah. I have some piercings.”

“Sweet. Where?”

“Ears. And through my eyebrow.”

“How about tattoos? I bet you’ve got tattoos.” 

“Yeah.” Michael hesitated. “I’ve got one. It’s on my arm. It says ‘to the moon.’”

Calum took a staggered breath. 

If there was any doubt that it was Calum on the phone it disappeared from Michael’s mind. To the moon had been their old saying, for when they had no plans and were just making it up as they went. “Where are we going?” one would say and the other would reply something like “I don’t know. Probably to the moon.” 

“Mikey,” he whispered even quieter than before. 

“I know. It’s kinda lame but.”

“No. Not lame. I-” the phone cut off abruptly.

“Calum? Calum?” Michael said into the dial tone. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what to put here. It tends to be my last brain cell thought. Thank you for reading! Thank you if you've left a comment! I appreciate you!

They met early, early the next morning at the police station. The detective, Michael and his dad and Calum’s mom. It was just past 7. Detective Perry handed out cups of coffee in styrofoam cups and then they huddled around the table, listening to the recording. 

Michael grimaced at the sound of his own voice, regretting nearly every word he heard himself say. Joy looked up sharply when the phone cut off. 

“Oh God,” she said, “what happened?” 

Perry held up his hands soothingly, “we already have word back from our tech guys. The number was from another stolen phone. The person reported it stolen right away. They cut off service at 5:00 am.”

“Oh,” Michael breathed out for what felt like the first time. “I thought.”

“I know.” Perry said. “But this is good news.” He spread out a map on the table with highlighted lines for the areas where the first phone had most likely been stolen and now the second. He pointed to where the lines overlapped. “You see right here. We’re upping the number of units in that area. We’re going through our records. Anyone arrested for pick pocketing on these streets. That’s a solid lead right there.”

He moved on to the transcript of the call, pointing to a highlighted spot. “This is telling too. ‘I hope they cut it soon.’ That tells us he’s in a position where he doesn’t get to make decisions about his hair.”

“Can we assume that? What if he just meant he hopes he can go get it cut soon?” Michael’s dad asked, leaning over the map, trying to be helpful.

“You’re right, we can’t say for certain. But it’s something to keep in mind moving forward. Michael, are you alright to keep going?”

“Of course,” Michael said, “Yeah, absolutely.”

When they went to leave, Joy gave Michael another awkward hug. “Thank you for asking him to call me. And for telling him what you did. About me loving him no matter what. I’m so happy he heard that.”

“I’m sorry he said he wouldn’t call.”

“It’s ok. We’ll get there.”

Michael thought for a second. “I think he would like to hear your voice. He said that to me that first night. He was like ‘I wasn’t going to say anything. I just wanted to hear your voice.’ So maybe if you recorded a message I could just play it for him the next time he calls? If he says he wants?” 

Joy’s face lit up immediately. “That’s such a good idea Michael. I’ll record something. I’ll send it to you, ok?” 

“Ok,” Michael said. “Something short though? He doesn’t always have a lot of time.”

“Yes,” Joy said and Michael thought she resisted rolling her eyes which, fair. “I know. Give me your email. I’ll send it to you tonight.” 

When they split ways it felt like they were heading towards something good, like they were making progress. Michael had tried not to think about the future too much ever but that night, laying his head down on his desk beside the phone, he let himself believe in it just a little bit.


	8. Chapter 8

It was only two nights later and, Michael reasoned, Calum probably wouldn’t call again that quickly. So, he laid down in his bed, set an alarm for 2 am and let himself fall asleep. He woke up to his mom frantically shaking his shoulders, the phone ringing in her hand. 

“Hurry up! It’s already rung three times!”

Michael lunged upwards, pressing the button, wiping at his eyes. “Calum.”

His mom pressed the button to start the recording machine and then lingered in the doorway.

“I’m sorry. I woke you up, don’t say I didn’t.”

“You did. Yeah, I was sleeping. But it’s ok.” He waved his mother away and she reluctantly pulled the door closed. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. You’re more important than a couple hours of sleep, Calum.”

“If you say so.” But he sounded pleased. 

“I just didn’t think you’d call again so soon. I’m happy you did. I just didn’t expect it.”

“I wanted to really try since we got cut off before. I didn’t want you to think something bad happened and be freaked out.”

“I did kinda think that.” 

“Yeah, I figured. Sorry about that.”

“It’s ok.” He paused, then said, “Hey, so I told your mom what you said, yeah? About not being ready to call her. And she totally understood, she said it was ok.”

“She did?” 

“Yeah but I thought maybe you would want to hear her voice so she sent me a little voice message to play for you. But only if you want! You can still say you don’t if you don’t.” 

Calum hummed a little indecisive sound into the phone. “I do want to hear her voice. But, like, what does she say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t listened to it. I thought that’d be like, fucked up of me. Listening to the message from her meant for you before you got to hear it.” It had taken all his resolve not to listen to it when he’d gotten the email, his cursor hovering over the play button for a long time until he hurriedly turned away. 

“Ok, let’s give it a listen then.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I wanna hear.”

Michael pulled it up on his computer, put the phone on speaker mode and held it up to the computer speakers. 

“Calum, it’s mom.” Joy’s voice sounded a little shaky through the speakers but maybe that was just the sound quality. “I love you so much and I know if your father and Mali were here they’d say the same. Take care of yourself. Be safe. We miss you and we love you, always.” 

“How was that? Was that ok?” Michael kept the phone held out in front of him.

Calum made a hurt noise that slammed right into Michael’s chest. “Calum? Calum? Are you ok?” 

“Yeah. I just didn’t think. Can you play it again?” 

“Oh, sure.” Michael hit the play button again, letting the little message run its course before tentatively asking, “ok?” 

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

Michael turned the phone back to its regular function, pressing it up against his ear. “I hope that wasn’t too much.”

“No. It was good. I’ve missed-” and then hurtling down the line, Calum’s breath coming out all at once, “Oh shit. Shh. Shh.” 

There was nothing but breath through the phone for a long time. Michael counted in his head each breath he heard. Then at 8, Calum’s voice came back. 

“It’s ok. It’s ok.”

“Did you think-” Michael began. 

“Yeah. But we’re safe.”

Safe. Michael felt bile in the back of his throat. He’d let himself forget that Calum was risking something by calling. That wherever he was, he wasn’t safe. 

“Cal, what if they catch you? What will happen?”

“Don’t. You don’t want me to answer that, Mikey.”

“What will happen, Cal? Do they hurt you? Will they hurt you if they find out you’ve been calling? Oh my God,” Michael knew he should stop but he couldn’t, “would they kill you? Could that happen?”

“Shh, Michael, Jesus Christ calm down,” Calum’s voice was a little frustrated. “I’ve been really careful. They’re not going to find out. It’s ok. I’m not hurt. I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just. If something happened to you, Cal. How could I forgive myself? If it happened because you called me?”

“Nothing’s going to happen.” Calum sounded so sure. “Everything’s ok.”

It felt backwards, that Calum would be comforting him. Surely Calum was the one in the scary place. Surely he was the one who needed to be told that everything was going to be ok. And Michael wished he could cling to the sound of Calum’s voice, so certain and calm, but now all he could think was the risk of this call. How every call was equally dangerous. 

It was wrong. He knew it was wrong. But Michael leaned over and turned off the recording machine. 

“I just wish. Could we meet up somewhere? Somewhere secret? Wouldn’t that be safer? Even just for a minute? Just so I could see you?”

“That’s a bad idea, Mikey.”

“Why? I wouldn’t even have to go up to you. We could pass each other in the street. You would know me, I’m sure. Remember I have bright red hair.”

Calum snorted a laugh that died almost immediately. “I don’t know. I don’t think that would work.” 

“Please. I wouldn’t even wave. I’d barely even look at you. I promise.”

Calum was silent. Michael could almost picture him worrying at his bottom lip, deciding. “I don’t always know when I’ll be able to go out.”

“Just tell me where. I’ll go everyday.”

Calum took a deep breath. “I would like to see you.” Then, a quick decision. “I sometimes go to 13th and Graham. The taco stand there. If I have a little money. Do you know it?”

“I’ll find it. I’ll be there. What time?”

“In the afternoon. 3. 4, sometimes. Not that often, though.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll go every day. I’ll just get a coffee and sit waiting.”

“Ok, ok, this is a bad idea. This is a terrible idea.”

“I’ll just watch. I’ll just see you. You’ll just see me.”

“Ok,” a pause, “I have to go.”

“But I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” but the certainty from before was gone. Now, he sounded so, so unsure. He still hung up the phone without saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello! Just wanted to say I'm moving house tomorrow and my new place doesn't have internet yet. So. I won't be posting any chapters until Monday. But! I will be back, no worries (if you were worried, which I doubt you were! Goodness this is just going on and on, huh? Thanks last brain cell)   
> Be well! Much Love!


	9. Chapter 9

Luke was sitting next to him on the bleachers, watching the cheerleaders practicing. “So you go every day to the taco stand? And sit and wait for, like, 2 hours? Just hoping he’ll be there someday?”

It was getting close to 2:30, Michael was preparing to cut his last class and head to the taco stand, just like he’d done every day for the past week. The police were investigating the 3rd cell phone number, the intersecting places where each one had been stolen. The taco stand was not along any of the lines. 

“I don’t know why the fuck I told you,” Michael ripped at his thumbnail guiltily. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

“I’m kinda terrible that way. People just tell me stuff. I know it’s annoying but.” He gave a little what-can-you-do kind of shrug. 

“I shouldn’t’ve pushed him right? He hasn’t been there and also he hasn’t called. What if he’s-”

“Hey,” Luke interrupted. He put one hand on Michael’s shoulder, “he’s gunna be there. Maybe today! Or tomorrow! But it’s going to happen, ok?”

“What the fuck, man,” Michael tried to laugh it off, “I’ve only not hated you for, like, two weeks. Stop being so fucking nice.” 

“Maybe if you didn’t swear so much, I wouldn’t have to counteract the balance with all this being extra nice.” 

“Oh fuck you,” Michael shook off Luke’s hand on his shoulder. “I’m plenty nice.”

“Ah huh, sure. You better go. It’s 2:30.” 

Michael heaved off the bleachers, gave Luke a little mock solute, and headed off. 

He’d made a routine of going to the taco stand every day, getting there just before 3, eating a taco till 3:30 and then going to get a starbucks across the street till 4:30. It took real talent to make a taco last half an hour and he was perfecting it. 

He was taking a minuscule bite as the clock ticked over to 3:15, when he looked up and there was Calum, crossing the street. He knew. The second he saw him he knew it was definitely Calum. He still looked small, dressed in worn sweatpants and a t-shirt that hung loose on his narrow frame. He had a beanie pulled over his head but his hair was poking out all around. Long, just like he’d said. And his eyes were right on Michael, fixed on him, drinking him in. Michael dropped the taco wrapper without thinking, rising from where he’d been leaning on the dead potted plant outside the bus shelter. 

Calum didn’t go to the taco stand. He was looking around wildly, and, apparently satisfied, walked right past Michael, giving his head a little nod as he did. Come on, he was saying, this way. Michael waited a beat and then swung around to follow. He kept several feet behind, his eyes fixed on the back of Calum’s hat. Suddenly he ducked into an alley. When Michael made the same turn, Calum hands were on his instantly, pulling him further back into a darkened corner. 

“Michael,” he gasped, “Mikey.” He was still holding Michael’s wrist, then grabbing the other one too, holding on tight. 

“Calum,” Michael started but that was as far as he got. Calum’s hands slid up his arms, around behind his back, pulling him in close. Michael could feel their chests pressed together, he could feel Calum’s breath against his neck. After a stunned moment he wrapped his arms around Calum. They swayed together for a long minute, just holding on. Calum didn’t feel as small in his arms. It felt nice. Calum’s arms were around him. Calum was holding him together. 

When he pulled back, Calum rubbed at his eyes with his fist. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“No?” Michael copied the move, wiping away his own tears. 

“I was just going to see you, I swear I was. But then there you were and suddenly. It wasn’t enough.” It was different hearing his voice at a regular volume. But it sounded like him, somehow, exactly the way he should sound. 

He’d promised to barely look at Calum but now he filed away every little detail about him. His face was still so round, his eyes so warm. “God, you look. Just so much like you. That sounded fucking stupid.”

“No. That’s how I feel too. Except this hair. Christ, that is some red hair.” 

Michael ruffled the back. “You don’t like it?”

“Are you kidding? It’s so awesome. Quick, show me the tattoo.”

Michael made a sound, “it’s embarrassing. I got it for you.”

“Yeah, and now I wanna see it.” He made a come-on gesture with his hand and then transitioned it into a circling hurry-it-up when Michael started pulling off his jean jacket. He held out his arm and Calum grabbed onto it, squinting and leaning in.

“Are you sure that says to the moon? Did the tattoo person know how to write English?”

“Shut up,” Michael pushed him away, laughing, 

“It’s all loopy. Is that your mom’s handwriting?”

“You asshole.” but Michael was still laughing, “I did my best. I went with a bad fake id to this sketchy place. I looked all of 14, which I was, and they still let me in and did this. It’s not my fault how it turned out.”

“I think it is your fault. I think that’s how tattoos work.” He kept glancing worriedly towards the entrance to the alleyway. “I have to go. I should never have. Done this. But now.” He was pulling back. 

“Wait. Wait, Calum.” Michael grasped at his fingers. “Tell me why you can’t come with me. Tell me why we can’t go to the police. Please. Please.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” Calum pulled at his fingers and Michael knew it was cruel but tightened his grip. 

“Why, why not?”

Calum looked like he was going to cry again. He stopped trying to pull away. “There’s someone else. They have someone new. If I’m not back on time. It’s bad. They do bad things to him.”

“Is that what they did to you? Is that.” He couldn’t keep going. 

Calum looked down at the ground. “They’ll probably get rid of me soon. As soon as they have the kid the way they want.”

“Get rid of you? What do you mean, get rid of you?”

“I’m too old now. I’ve felt it coming for a while now. I thought maybe I could just speak to you one more time, and then suddenly it was 2 and 3 and then. Then I thought I could see you once and that would be enough but.”

“Come with me, Cal. The police will find the kid. They can help get him safe.”

“No, they’ll kill him, Mikey.” 

“If you don’t come with me, they’ll kill you, you said! Who will keep the kid safe then?”

Calum looked so, so sad. “This was wrong of me. This was bad for you. I’ll just go now and things will go back to how they were.”

“Things were shit before.” Mikey couldn’t help the way he was yelling, even though he could see how scared it was making Calum, his eyes fixed on the streets behind them. “I don’t want things the way they were. I want my best friend. Please, Calum.” 

But Calum ripped his hands away in a brutal pull. “I’m sorry, Mikey. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” And then he was running off into the sidewalk. It took barely a second for Michael to chase after him. But even before he got out of the alley he knew it was too late. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some knowledgeable Archiver please tell me, am I doing notes right??? Is there supposed to be something here??? Is this right??? (I'm channeling real Calum in the life hacks video vibes. Have you seen that video? It's like my favorite thing)

Michael ran through the streets. It’s felt like a sick parody of his run through the empty park all those years ago. Only this time, there were people all around. He bounced off of them forcefully, carelessly, hearing them yell after him. He was back at the school only slightly after the bell had rung. The sidewalks were still filled with kids getting on buses, loitering by their sun-boiled cars. Michael spotted Luke easily, towering over everyone else. 

“Luke!” He called, “Luke!”

Luke saw him coming and started pushing through the crowd. Michael skidded to halt in front of him, trying to catch his breath. 

“Woah, Michael, what’s happening?” Luke grabbed his shoulders, keeping him upright.

Michael could barely get a word through the clench of his lungs. “Calum. Calum.” He knew he was crying right there surrounded by the swirl of his peers. He could almost hear already the way this rumor would go, repeated a hundred thousand times. 

“Michael you have to slow down. I can’t understand-”

“I fucked it all up!” He dug his fingers into Luke’s arms, too hard, it would leave fingernail indents behind. “I fucking. He was there, Luke. I spoke to him. We were this close.” 

“What happened, Michael? What’d he say?”

“He said. He said. They’re going to kill him. He’s too old, he said.” Michael was spilling out all kinds of words now. “He was saying goodbye. He’s not going to call or anything. He’s giving up, he’s going back to...wherever the fuck. And I just. Let him go. Just watched him fucking leave. Oh Fuck. Fuck.” Michael’s hands went to twist in his hair. 

Luke untangled them so gently. “Let’s go tell the police, alright? I have my car, let’s drive over and tell them everything.”

Michael let himself be led by a hand around his waist. He slid in the door that was opened to him, closing his eyes for the drive to the station. Once there, sitting across from Detective Perry, a new revelation crashed into him. The thing he’d done secretly sounded so, so terrible when described under the harsh fluorescent light of the conference room. 

“You set up a meeting with Calum?” Perry confirmed, though he didn’t seem surprised. “Am I correct in thinking there was a phone call you didn’t record?”

“Just the end of one. The last one.”

“You understand how much you put everything at risk right? You understand that this could’ve ended badly in a dozen different ways?”

“It did end badly! Calum’s not going to call again! Weren’t you listening?” Michael wanted to curl up under the table. His eyes were red rimmed. His body ached at every joint. 

“We trusted that you would give us all the information we needed to find Calum. Keeping this from us was a bad judgement call I didn’t think you had in you.”

“Hey!” Luke burst in, “Michael hasn’t slept in, like, 2 months. All he does is think about Calum. You want to talk about bad judgement? You gave a police officer’s job to a kid! He did the best he could.”

Perry looked down at his folder, shuffled his hands, coughed. “Ok, fair point. You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“Wow,” Michael blinked up at Luke, “yeah, I see it now. You can keep your Good Charlotte shirt.”

The corner of Luke’s mouth quirked up. “Thanks.” 

“In any case,” Perry continued, “It did not go unnoticed that you’d been skipping your last class for the past week and a half. I had an officer follow you every day.”

Michael’s heart jumped. “You had someone there? Why didn’t you fucking say that to start with? They found Calum?”

“They followed him back to an apartment complex. We’re looking into it. We’ll find out which apartment he’s staying in. We’re going to do everything we can to get him out of there, Michael.” Perry smiled at him. “It’s going to be alright.” 

Michael put his head down right there on the table, letting his arms be a barricade, letting all his pieces go. Distantly, he felt Luke’s arm around him. Time ceased meaning anything at all. His mother must’ve come, he must’ve stood and walked and gotten home somehow. But all he could see was Calum’s face leaning in to see his tattoo. And the detective’s voice over and over saying “it’s going to be alright.” 

He lay in his bed for hours, paralyzed by how inadequate he was, how incapable of doing anything that would help. Luke was still there, his body curled around him like a question mark, maybe sleeping. His eyes were closed. 

Eventually, Luke opened one eye the tiniest slit. “It’s going to be alright,” he said. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Michael repeated back. 

He didn’t even notice until Luke was leaving his house later that night, when he asked for Michael’s phone number and Michael went to put Luke’s into his phone. His pockets were all empty. His phone was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, for serious now this is the chapter where the implied/referenced child abuse tips over into straight up abuse. If that's a tough thing for you to read about please, please, please be kind to yourself! I'll put a chapter summary at the end if you want to skip this one.

It was just past 4:00 am and the phone was ringing. Michael blinked up at it in surprise. The realization that his cellphone was missing hadn’t given him the hope for this. He lifted it to his ear with shaking, disbelieving hands, turning on the recorder out a habit more than anything else. 

“Calum?” His voice sounded like a croak.

“You’re right.” Calum jumped right in. “About the kid? I can’t let them do this to him.”

Michael hadn’t known how much crying a human was capable of. Surely his tear ducts should be empty by now. “I thought I’d lost you again.”

“I’ll tell you the address where I am. Do you have something to write it down with?”

“The address?” Michael struggled to keep up with this sudden reversal. 

“Mikey, come on.” Calum’s whisper was harried, “your phone’s going to die soon.”

“I knew you stole my phone. I knew it.”

“The address, Michael. Come on.”

Michael looked over at the blinking light of the recording machine. “Tell me.”

Calum rattled off the numbers and the street and then paused. “It’s the basement apartment. They do the maintenance.”

“Oh,” Michael wished he was following this conversation better. Everytime Calum called it was a gift, a treasure but Michael’s brain felt like mush. 

“You have to tell the police. About the kid. There’s two of them.” 

“Two kids?”

“No,” Calum’s voice had a frustrated edge. Michael imagined him ripping at his nails. “Sometimes one goes away. That’d be the time to do it. I could stop Paul from killing the kid. Probably. I think.”

“Calum-” 

“No, I can do it. I can get him safe. I can. You said it. You said I can’t leave him.”

“But you’ll keep you safe too, right?” Michael’s brain apparently chose that minute to come on board. 

“I’ll try. I promise to try.”

“Ok,” Michael whispered relieved. 

“I miss my mom. I want to come home.” Calum sounded like he was crying now, trying to hide it. 

“It’s going to be alright, Cal. It’s going to be-”

There was a crash in the background of the phone, a door slamming open. A jagged cry from Calum ending with a whimper. 

“What’s this then?” A snarl, loud and cold. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can explain-” Michael heard Calum say. A crack of sound, Calum screamed once quickly, shortly. 

Michael was running down the hallway, scrambling for his mom’s phone on her bedside table, dialing the police, holding it out to her as it rang. 

“Well, now, who do we have here?” the cold voice speaking to him.

“Please, don’t hurt him, please.” Michael couldn’t think what was right to say. “I’ll do anything. Please.”

“How sweet. Boy, have you made a friend?” The cut of the voice was cloying. 

“It’s nothing. It’s nobody.” Calum was whispering. Michael could barely hear him. 

“Who would you even know? Who would even be your friend?”

“Nobody. Nobody. It’s nobody. Just a random number I called.”

Another crack. Calum cried out. 

“Don’t you lie to me, Boy. You think I can’t tell?” The sound Calum made, Michael would never forget.

“I’ll tell you. I’ll say.” Michael tried to shoulder in, anything to get some of his attention. 

“Alright then. Let’s hear it.”

Michael grabbed at his Dad’s hand desperately. 

“We thought you’d lost your dog. We weren’t supposed to be out.”

There was a short pause. “You were at the park.” He laughed. “I almost took you instead.”

“That’s me.” 

“You were a wriggly one. Would’ve been troublesome, I could tell. In the end, I was happy you took off and left this one for me.” His voice had become almost hypnotic and gentle. “Now turns out this one’s troublesome too.”

“I’m sorry,” Calum sobbed. 

“I guess it doesn’t matter so much. It's only a little ahead of schedule.” Michael could almost imagine him smiling. He could hear it through the phone. “Say goodbye to your friend.”

“No! No! Please!” The line went dead in his ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Calum calls Michael from Michael's stolen phone. He wants Michael to send the police to where he is so the kid they've recently taken can get safe. Before he finishes the conversation, his abductor comes into the room and catches them talking on the phone. Michael can hear the sound of the man hurting Calum through the phone. Then the man implies he's about to kill Calum and hangs up the phone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing yesterday! I'm just so bummed, the end is so near!   
> All the violence takes place off camera in this chapter but tread lightly if that's tricky for you.   
> Much love to all you humans out there!

It wasn’t like in the movies. The police didn’t smash into the apartment from a dozen entry points, guns firing. Instead, Detective Perry broke through the heavy basement door with one quick, efficient move. He went one way and his partner the other. 

From the back bedroom, there was the crack of a gunshot and Perry moved even faster. He burst into the room. There was a body laying facedown on the floor, a puddle of blood starting to creep out from under him. And backing into the corner was a boy holding a gun in front of him, his eyes so wide, blood dripping down one bruised cheekbone, two fingers broken into sharp angles. 

Perry held up his hands as soothingly as possible. “It’s alright, Calum.”

Calum had the gun trained in his direction with two hands, all but his broken fingers wrapped around it. 

“It’s alright,” Perry repeated, stepping further into the room. “Your friend Michael called me. He told me you needed help.”

“Michael?” Calum whispered.

“That’s right. He’s waiting to hear that you’re safe. How about you put that gun down and we go see him.”

Calum looked down at the body on the floor and somehow his eyes grew even wider. “I didn’t mean to.” He choked, stopped, his whole body shaking visibly. “I was just trying to grab it. I didn’t mean. Oh God. Oh.” He dropped the gun onto the floor. 

Perry crossed the room quickly, putting his hands under Calum’s elbows to steady him. “Calum, it’s alright. You’re alright. Just look at me. There you go, eyes on me.” 

Calum’s eyes fought against the cloud of shock. “Kid.” He said somewhat muzzily. He pushed away from Perry, lurching into the hallway on unsteady legs. 

Perry’s partner was there in the living room, cuffing a second man. A third officer was kneeling next to a small boy, short and thin. He looked all of five years old. He ran to Calum as soon as he saw him, arms outstretched. Calum lifted him with a grunt of effort, hitching him up on one hip. There was blood dripping from his face onto the boy's hair. 

“Let’s get you to a hospital.” Perry purposefully didn’t touch either of them, guiding them with an outstretched arm out of the apartment, up the stairs and into the waiting ambulance. The child sat by a nurse while Calum was carefully positioned on the rolling gurney. The shock crashed into him and he lay back easily. 

Perry climbed up into the ambulance next to him. Calum’s eye was starting to swell, half of the world probably disappearing into haze. “Is Michael going to be there? At the hospital?”

“I’ll call him as soon as we get there. He’ll come right away.”

Calum's eyes both closed. “And the kid’s family?”

“I’ll call them too.” Perry put one hand on Calum’s arm as gently as he could. “Just rest now. You’re both safe. You can rest.” 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! It's the end! Hope you liked it! Be safe, be well. Much love!

Michael hovered in the doorway of the hospital room. Calum’s face was a mass of bruises, his fingers splinted and wrapped all together. Michael didn’t know what was the best thing to do, go and sit until he woke up? Leave and come back later? He was saved from making any decision by Calum opening his good eye. He jerked his head all around, his breath wheezing.

Michael crossed the room in three steps. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re at the hospital. You’re ok.”

Calum tried, clearly, to focus on him. “Michael?”

“Yep. Just me.”

“They. Called you?” His breath was calming, steadying.

“They did. There’s this detective. He’s called Perry. He’s been looking for you basically this whole time. Anyway, he called to say you were here. And the nurse said you asked about me. She brought me up.”

Michael knew he was talking way, way too much. But Calum wasn’t saying anything. His uninjured hand was opening and shutting rhythmically.

“But your whole family’s downstairs. And I can go get someone if you want. You want your mom? She’s downstairs. And I was thinking about what you said about being different and I think that-”

“Mikey.” Calum interrupted. 

“Yeah?” 

“Would you…” he stopped. 

“Shut the fuck up?” Michael guessed after half a minute.

“No,” Calum finally said. “I’m really cold.”

“You want me to find you a blanket or something?” 

“No,” he began again, “could you come up here.” He patted the bed, then held out his arm.

Michael took a second. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” He wasn’t attached to any machines but the bed was narrow. 

“Please?” 

“Ok,” Michael toed off his shoes first, to be polite. Calum scooted over to the edge. When Michael was situated, Calum nestled in so his head was on Michaels’s shoulder. 

“Is this ok?” Calum asked. “It’s fine if it’s weird. We don’t have to.”

“No,” Michael struggled for a second to form words around the lump in his throat. “Not weird.”

“What were you saying? About my mom?”

“Oh, right. On the way here, I was thinking that it’s not going to get any easier to see them. And I know you miss them. Might as well get it over with. Like pulling off a bandaid. Not that I think seeing your mom is going to hurt. Well, I guess it might hurt. But better to just do it right?” Someone stop me, he thought. Save me from this rambling. 

But Calum just hummed thoughtfully. Michael could feel the vibrations of it in his ribs. The bruised side of Calum’s face was all he could see. 

“Let’s change the subject.” Michael declared. 

“Let’s.” Calum agreed. 

Michael racked his brain for something else to talk about. “How’d you get so good at stealing phones?” 

Calum was quiet for a second. Then, “when they first let me go out, I was so sure someone would recognize me. Or like. See? That I needed help? Just by looking at me. But then I realized no one was paying any attention to me at all. I stole wallets at first. I was just so hungry and I thought.” He stopped. “I thought they wouldn’t mind me taking them if they knew what happened to me.”

“And if they minded, they deserved to be stolen from.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Calum gave a snuffly sigh. “I don’t know. It was just so easy. People had them sitting out on tables, not even looking at it or they’d be like, sticking out of their pockets.” Calum sounded like he was the one rambling now, trying to steer his brain in a palatable direction. 

“Are you hurting a lot?” Michael asked. Great, he thought to himself, that’s exactly the thing Calum would like to talk about next. 

Calum shrugged his shoulders a little; Michael could feel the fragile line of them moving up and down. “Not really. They gave me something for the pain when I got here. There’s not really anything else they can do for me. They’re just not sending me home yet cause they're worried about how I’m doing like, emotionally.”

“How are you doing, emotionally?”

He hummed again. “I don’t know. I’m really tired.” 

“You should sleep, then.” Michael said. 

“Will you stay? For a little while?” 

“As long as you’d like.” Or until they kick me out, he added internally. 

“Thank you.” Calum whispered into his shoulder. 

“Of course.” Michael whispered back. “You’re my best friend.”

“Still?” Calum sounded already half asleep. And if Michael was honest, he felt himself slipping too. He could already tell he would fall asleep right here in this hospital bed. And he imagined how it was going to be. How he would wake up and there Calum would be, save and warm, snuggled in his arms. It was going to be the best moment of his life, he already knew. 

“You’ll always be my best friend.” Michael put one hand in Calum’s hair, smoothing it back. It was too long. But Calum could get it cut now. Anytime he wanted. Maybe they could go together. Michael could picture it. Calum could cut his hair short and Michael could finally get his hair re-dyed. Maybe they could finally learn how to do a kickflip. Maybe Luke could teach them. 

He closed his eyes and imagined it all. The future spooling out but not lonely and alone. Because here was Calum. Here. Right here. Michael finally, finally, let himself sleep. 


End file.
